


Full Of It

by ashadowonthewall



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Doomed Relationship, Drinking, Drug Use, Other, Post Season/Series 03, Sexism, Sexist Language, Sexual Assault, Sibling Incest, Violence, When Skins Was My Shit, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 11:11:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashadowonthewall/pseuds/ashadowonthewall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-series 3, Effy goes to Cardiff and stays with her brother to forget about everything that happened back home. But no matter where she goes, trouble has a way of finding her.</p><p>(PS: I don't think I'll ever get this one done, but I'm posting it here anyway.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[ ](http://s1139.photobucket.com/albums/n560/youtoxic/Toffy%20Stonem/?action=view&current=fullofit_te.png)

Effy awoke with a pounding in her head, the taste of red wine still strong on her breath and an empty bottle lying on the floor next to her shoes. She heard a shuffling behind her and turned to see that it was just Tony going through his drawers, mumbling to himself about a certain top he’d buried underneath all those clothes, which he couldn’t seem to find.

She didn’t know what time it was but she knew it wasn’t morning because the two of them had stayed up almost all night, the same way they had done for the past few weeks since she came over to visit. 

There were always the parties, the drugs and the late nights lying together in bed, either fucking or Effy telling him about what had been going on the past year while he’d been away. She knew it wasn’t fair to take it out on him but she couldn’t help but occasionally let slip that she missed him and that she was angry with him for not being there when she needed him most.

They’d had another one of their long talks last night. And Effy remembered falling asleep on his chest, the both of them drunk and stoned off their heads but still comforted by each other’s presence. She talked about Cook, and Freddie while Tony just sat and listened. It was very unlike him but he actually didn’t comment on any of it, just took in everything she told him about the two boys, how she played them, how she couldn’t decide between the two of them, and how she ended up choosing Freddie in the end.

Effy knew it wasn’t true though, about choosing Freddie…or even Cook. And Tony knew it as well. The truth was that she was looking for a substitute…a substitute for her brother, someone she knew she could rely on; someone to fill the hole he’d left when he went away.

She was glad enough to be near him though, and given that she’d skipped out on Freddie in the worst possible way – telling him she was going to take a bath over the phone only to leave him hanging while she fucked off to Cardiff – she knew she’d have a lot of explaining to do when she got back so she tried to make the best of being with Tony as much as she could, even when he was being an insufferable tosser, which was almost all the time. Being in uni had brought out the “old” Tony in him, and she wasn’t sure whether she liked it or not, but when they were fucking it didn’t make one bit of difference.

\--

“Stop looking for that shirt and just put anything on for fuck’s sake,” she said to him, rubbing her forehead; his shuffling through the drawers and cursing under his breath was starting to annoy her and she wanted him to stop.

“Or better still, stop what you’re doing and come back to bed.”

Tony laughed, turning around and facing her, flashing that big smile of his, the one she always saw whenever she’d amused him.

“If I go back in there we won’t come out for the whole day,” he said. “And I’m meeting someone today, actually”. 

“Subtle. So unlike you,” she responded. “Does this meeting consist of just tea and witty banter, or do you have some fucking in mind as well?”

Tony was still laughing and shaking his head when he came in closer, bending down to stroke her cheeks with his hand, kissing her on the mouth, seemingly unaffected by the mixture of red wine and morning breath.

“You see that’s what I love about you sis,” he told her, looking into her eyes. “Unlike all the other girls, with you I don’t have to lie because I know you won’t like me any less”. 

“Well, maybe that’s because I already hate you,” she joked, kissing him back. 

\--

The two of them stayed like that for a moment before Tony lifted himself off the bed to put on one of the shirts that was sticking out from inside the drawer, putting on a pair of pants and shoes before turning around to look at Effy one more time.

“How do I look?” he asked.

“Perfect,” she replied, trying to sound as genuine as possible. “Like you’re ready to take on the world”.

“You sure you don’t want to come along?”

Effy sighed deeply.

“The moment I start following you around for your dates is the same day I’ll be cutting up photographs and putting them on my wall acting like a crazy person,” she said sarcastically.

“I know you’re joking around but I can actually see that” he said, adjusting the collar of his shirt before walking toward the door.

“Try to keep the place clean while I’m gone, oh and if you’re going to smoke make sure to keep the windows open. See you in a bit sis”.

“We’re not going out again tonight,” she said, still rubbing her forehead.

“Of course we are,” he replied just as quickly, walking out and closing the door behind him.

“Wanker,” Effy whispered under her breath before flopping back down on the bed, trying to get some sleep.

\--

Across the room she could hear a buzzing and she knew it was her phone. She didn’t want to pick it up because she was sure it was Freddie. It wasn’t the first time he’d tried to call or send her a text message and she didn’t reply. She just wasn’t ready to deal with it just yet, and she knew she’d make things worse if she tried.

Effy rested her head back and tried to blank out her mind, but the images of Freddie’s face, and Cook’s kept flashing back to her whenever she closed her eyes. There was also Katie and the night in the woods, Pandora and her mum. It was all too fucking much. She almost wanted to get high or drunk again just to go back to sleep and forget it all, because the more fucked up she was the less she dreamed and that was a good thing because dreams were usually terrifying.

For a split second everything started to go black again, until she heard a loud bang on the door and she was so irritated by being woken up that she swore she’d swing the door open and tell whoever was behind it to just fuck off. 

The taps were loud and it sounded like more than one person was behind the door.

“Hey Tony, open up you tosser!” a voice said jokingly. “It’s football Friday motherfucker and we know you’re in there. C’mon open the door!”

Effy shook her head in disbelief, not even trying to comprehend what wankers Tony had been hanging out with at uni. He’d had a fair amount of decent friends before, so she could only conclude that he’d lowered his standards.

She grabbed one of Tony’s tops and ruffled her hair a bit before she walked over and opened the door, only to be met with not one but three guys standing behind it, all dressed in hoodies and tracksuits with sports bags on and all smiling at her in a way that reminded her of those guys back at the pub where she’d met Cook’s dad. It made her really uncomfortable. 

\--

“Hi,” one of the guys said - the one standing in the middle. He had short flat-topped fair colored hair, a typical football player haircut, blue eyes a slightly chubby face but not unattractive and was the tallest of the three. He seemed like the most “civilized” of all of them, because the other two were practically close to having their tongues out whenever they looked at her, given she was standing there in practically nothing but her underwear and Tony’s top. It reminded her of the way Katie’s ex boyfriend eyed her back in the day. Positively disgusting.

“Is Tony in? He was supposed to meet us today at the field but he never showed up, just making sure the guy is alive. He’s a real party animal that one”.

“Tony’s a big boy,” Effy said eying the guy. “I’m sure he can take care of himself”. 

“I’m sure he can,” the guy replied.

One of the other guys, a short-dark haired fellow burst into laughter.

“You hear that boys? Tony’s so fucking chuffed from the last time, he’s not up for a game today, so he gets his girl to tell us he’s not available”. 

Effy’s heart felt like it was going to go up her throat when she heard those words. She was speechless then and she felt like doing nothing but slamming the door in their faces, but she knew she couldn’t because she had to explain. Luckily the taller bloke, the one who spoke to her first, caught on by the look on her face.

“Guys…I don’t think it’s his girl we’re talking about here”.

She calmed down a bit then, but she was still speechless. A number of thoughts were going through her head that she didn’t want, and she knew if they’d stuck around long enough, things would get mighty awkward.

“Listen, sorry for the misunderstanding. When he comes back tell him Conrad, Mike and Nathan came by. He’ll know who you’re talking about”. 

The three of them were about to leave when she took a second to examine them. She didn’t know what possessed her but she told them to stop.

“Hey,” she said. “Tony’s only going to be out for a little while. You can come in and wait if you want”.

The shorter guy who made a crack about her being Tony’s “girl” made a face that made her want to wretch, but the taller one just smiled and said “sure” before making his way in, his mates following close behind him.

Effy knew where Tony had kept all the spliff and she knew he’d think less of her for what she was about to do, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t feeling like herself anymore and being in Cardiff was an escape from everything. And she knew he’d forgive her anyway.

Besides, if Tony was out having his fun, then Effy thought it only fair that she should also have her own.


	2. Chapter 2

A string of smoke-filled cloud blew from her lips as she took another drag of the spliff in her hand. The room was small and compact, and with three other people inside it began to feel a little crowded but Effy didn’t care. She was going to have her fun. And these guys seemed pretty eager about it, as guys always did. But unlike Freddie and Cook, they weren’t subtle about their intentions. Normally she would have been put off by it; they reminded her of Katie’s footballer boyfriend – sleazy fucker – the kind of guys she normally wouldn’t give the time of day. But she wasn’t herself for a while, and being in Cardiff was an escape.

She hoped Tony wouldn’t be back for a while because she would have hated for him to walk in on them, not that they were doing anything yet. He probably would have thought she’d tried to spite him somehow, for not coming to Bristol when she’d called and maybe in her own way, she was. 

Her head was still pounding, but the spliff made it a little better. She was sat on the bed, her legs exposed with two guys standing on the other side of the room leering at her, and even though it made her slightly uncomfortable, it excited her too. Not that she wanted to fuck them, or that she was planning on doing anything, just the seer pleasure of being watched, lusted after, was enough. 

Guys hadn’t looked at her like that in a long time. Tony, while obviously eager most nights when they got together, still saw her as a sister and even though he never admitted it, she could see that tinge of guilt in his eye whenever they fucked, the little spark of conscience telling him that what they were doing was incredibly fucked up. If they were religious they’d call it sin.

Cook couldn’t even look at her that day when she and the boys were coming back home on that boat. JJ had grown out of her by then. And Freddie…Freddie treated her like she was something precious, infallible, untainted and perfect. She hated that, she hated it because it wasn’t true and she didn’t want to be held to some fucking high standard because she knew that the minute she fell down, the minute she screwed up he would judge her, he would hate her, like he did that time when she came to the hospital to visit Katie…

…She couldn’t even think about Katie without wanting to die.

\--

“You okay there, love?” one of the guys asked, she couldn’t be bothered remembering their names.

“You look…tense.”

“Shut the fuck up, Mike!” Conrad – the tall one with the flat-topped brown hair – said to his friend.

Effy thought it might have been a good idea to put on some pants because she was practically naked, getting drunk and high with three guys who couldn’t keep their eyes off her. She was still undecided as to what she actually wanted from them, or even why she invited them in, in the first place. The truth was that she wanted Tony around but he was out, and she’d let them in simply because they were there. It was like that with a lot of guys in her life.

“So,” the tall guy said over some spliff as he sat on the bed, just next to her as his two friends took seats on the other side of the room. “Where are you and Tony going to move once the semester is over? It’s only a few weeks till then, and you’ve got to stay somewhere”.

“That’s none of your business,” she responded, immediately noticing the changed expression on his face.

“Tony and I always manage to find our way around things. He’s clever, and we always watch out for each other, you know?”

All three of them laughed at once.

“Sounds romantic,” one of the guys on the other side of the room joked.

Conrad moved in close and plucked the spliff from Effy’s hand, his face moving in closer to hers.

“Tony’s a good mate,” he said. “He talked about having a sister a few times but he forgot to mention the part about her being so fucking hot!”

Effy felt his left hand moving up the length of her thigh, and her body froze. Suddenly the idea of ‘fun’ with these three blokes didn’t seem so appealing. She didn’t know how she was going to get out of it, but she knew that if she didn’t do something about it soon, things would get fucked up, and quick.

“You’re an idiot, Conrad!” one of his mates said, laughing. “How the fuck can anyone know if their sister’s hot?”

The guy ignored them and kept moving his hand upward, slipping through Effy’s top cupping her tits, his mouth moving closer in closer to hers, kissing her hard without warning. She didn’t return the kiss, but she could feel his tongue sliding down further, tasting the spliff on his breath. She didn’t want it, every part of her body was saying no, but he was still moving in closer, crushing her body with the weight of his own.

She muffled for a moment, and with both her hands, pushed him away.

\--

“No! No! Stop! Just stop!”

“What the fuck?” he exclaimed, shooting her a disapproving frown.

“Please, you need to leave!” Effy begged.

Two of the other guys who were sat on the seats got up and were about to walk out the door when Conrad stopped them.

“You can’t do that,” he said, raising his voice slightly and Effy’s heart almost stopped in her chest. She’d never had a problem with telling guys to get out before; they’d always got the message. But she knew then that with this one it was going to be much more difficult. It scared the shit out of her, and for a split second she hated herself for not heading out with Tony when he asked.

There was no way she could have predicted what had happened though.

“I can do what I want,” she said to him. “And you need to get the fuck out of my brother’s room right now!”

He shook his head at her and moved in closer.

“No, mate. Tony’s sister or not…I’m not leaving till you finish what you started”.

“Con, mate…” one of the others warned. “I really don’t think this is such a good idea”.

“Shut the fuck up Nathan!” 

He turned back to Effy and flashed her a grin that made her want to puke. He reminded her of Cook’s dad, and the memories were driving her crazy. She swore to herself then that if he touched her she would scream.

“So, what’s it going to be princess?”

“Nothing,” she said. “You can take your little dick away and go fuck yourself for all I care”.

Effy was not at all prepared for what was going to happen next.

\--

The slap was instantaneous; she barely had enough time to second glance before she felt the sting of his hand against her face and the blow was so hard that she actually fell back against the bed, cupping one side of her face in her hands, the sting so harsh she felt tears running down her eyes.

“You pillock!” one of the other guys shouted. “Why the fuck did you do that? Oh piss it, let’s get out of here before Tony comes back!”

Effy didn’t turn around until she heard the door slam behind her. Her face was still stinging when she lifted herself off the bed, and her entire body was shaking then. She’d never been hit by a guy before, let alone someone as big as that Conrad bloke and she didn’t even know what to make of the situation. She knew that Tony would be so fucking pissed off the moment he’d come back and find her because she could feel the bruise growing on one side of her face. But she didn’t want him to know; she’d already put him through so much with her whole disappearing act. 

She needed him though, and she wasn’t going to wait around until he was done with his stupid “date”.

Effy picked her phone off the table on the other side of the room and dialed the number.

“Hello?”

“Tony…where are you?”

“Oh, have you forgotten?” he replied. “I’m out today, I told you”.

“Well then come back!” she pleaded, her hands still shaking as she held on to the phone.

“Hey…what’s wrong? You sound frightened or something”.

“No!” she whined. “Please…just come back. And don’t bring your fucking date to the dorm, okay?”

“Hold on sis,” he said. “I’ll be there in a few minutes”.

She threw the phone down on the floor when he hung up and grabbed the nearest bottle of vodka; the one Tony kept stashed under his clothes and took a long sip, as she’d always done with his alcohol. She wanted to get drunk then, just drunk enough to forget but not too much. She didn’t want to end up vomiting on his sheets. She needed him near, and she hoped that he’d have enough sense not to bring his date along.

\--

It only took about ten minutes or so before she heard the door swing open and Tony calling out her name. 

“Effy! Effy!”

She was lying on the bed when he found her, and she stood up and threw herself at him, snogging him hard and pushing him back against the cupboard as her hands slid down to his belt buckle.

“Hey, hey what the fuck are you doing?”

“What we always do, Tony,” she replied, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in closer.

“I don’t mean that, I mean. Jesus, Eff…”

He pushed her away, and she fell back down against the bed. She felt confused then; confused and saddened. He was never one to reject her advances, but she could tell from the look on his face that she’d pissed him off.

“You’re drunk!” Tony said. “You drank the stuff that I’d left for later. And what the fuck happened to you? What’s that bruise from?”

Effy’s hand was trembling when she cupped the side of her face.

“Oh, that’s…I…um…fell and hit my head on the cupboard…when I was looking for the bottle”.

Tony moved in closer to examine the bruise and when he did, she kissed him hard again, to distract him from it. She didn’t want him getting into any fights with his mates because of her. 

“Effy, stop it now!” he commanded. “Why did you call me down here? You knew I was out today”.

The words got caught in her throat when she tried to speak and she threw her arms around him instead, burying her head in his shoulder as tears ran down her cheeks.

“I don’t want to go back to Bristol!” she cried. “I want to stay here with you”.

“Effy,” he said, his voice growing gentler as he ran his hand down her hair, hugging her tightly. “You know you can’t do that”. 

“I need you,” she pleaded, kissing him again, and Tony kissed her back, laying her down on the bed before slipping her top off, his hand moving down to her knickers as she worked on his belt buckle, the flush running to her forehead when she slipped her hand down, feeling how hard he was for her.

“I need you.”


End file.
